The Well F**ked Woman

I just finished listening to a “Rewild Yourself” podcast episode called: “The Well Fucked Woman.” (

Um, yes please.

I’ve included some exact and rough quotes from Kim Anami, the guest on this podcast. My commentary follows each…

1. Avoid using “lube” to assist in sexual penetration. “A woman’s lubrication, her fluids, her flow, is a natural indication that she is emotionally and physically ready for sex. …Using lube overrides this natural wisdom and disconnects her from her vagina.”

Basic, and kind of a “duh”, but a rule I don’t fully follow. I want to experiment with only being penetrated when my body produces enough moisture to do so. I get juicy just thinking about that! I’ll have to report back…

2. “It’s not that behind every man is a good woman. It’s behind every good woman is a man on his knees voraciously thrusting and giving her everything he’s got.”

As I listened to this podcast I had the sensation of connecting deeply to what she had to say. Like I’ve known this information all along, but never could put words to it. She voiced a subconscious, deeper longing that I haven’t asked for, because I didn’t fully know it was there.

3. “One orgasm is never enough. A woman needs several orgasms within an encounter to be satisfied. And she needs the deeper, internal, vaginal orgasms.”

I’ve sometimes felt unsatisfied after having an orgasm, but my mental process was more like: maybe it just wasn’t a good orgasm (some are better than others), or maybe there’s something else I’m feeling unsatisfied about in my life. It never occurred to me that perhaps my body wasn’t done yet (or just getting started).

4. “There’s gourmet sex vs junk food sex. Junk food sex as this quick hit, kind of appealing in the moment, this rush of energy, a peak and then a fall. Like a blood sugar plummet and a sense of regret. And then there’s gourmet sex which is this meal that taken some time to even think about how to prepare it, all the preparation that goes into it, the highest quality ingredients, lots of love and focus goes into the preparation of this food. ….You think about that meal, you feel really nourished. You think about it for days afterward. … The nutritional elements of the meal are so powerful that it actually builds something in your body, rather than depletes it.”

I get where’s she’s going with the analogy. She also talks about how there is room in a sexual diet for quickies or purely physical or only clitoral orgasms. Her point is that shouldn’t be the only thing in your diet. Describing this as “junk food” however, makes it sound bad, wrong, or lesser than. Maybe rather than “junk food” it should be more like Rachel Ray’s 15 minute weeknight dinners. To me, that has less judgement attached to it. And seeing how my dream is to have a personal chef make gourmet meals for me every day so I don’t have to cook, her analogy is giving me a new perspective on my sexual desires as well!

5. “The clitoral orgasm is more physical. Anyone can pop off a clitoral orgasm with the right physical stimulation. Your heart doesn’t have to be in it. There doesn’t need to be any emotional connection at all. The internal orgasms require the woman to open emotionally. The G spot is more emotional. The woman needs to feel like she can let go. And knows that if she lets go, he will catch her. The cervix is the queen of all female orgasms. The cervix is heart point in the Tao system. There is an energy meridian that runs from the cervix up to the crown shakra. You have a cosmic portal and a heart place with the cervix.”

6. “These deeper orgasms for women are life changing, life expanding and giving. That kind of release, that opening, that letting go, that surrender, and the process to get her there is what really sustains her as a woman, allows her to tap into her true feminine power, support her man in a deep way, and to be out in the world as a feminine strength and power source.”

When I have a cervical orgasm, I see fireworks of colors behind my closed eyelids and do feel opened up in a way that leaves me transformed. Each time we have a deep sexual encounter like this, my whole world seems changed and my scale of how good sex can get goes up a few notches. It makes me wonder how high the scale can go? I look forward to finding out…

When do you get home honey? 🙂

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